if we had polka dot skin
& our breath was like
heavens touch
your eyes become walnuts & your fingertips
into orange wedges
i’d still be your friend.
it feels like there are holes in the back of my ears where i can feel the sensors in your energy
it’s so
COLD
my arms are not mine
my hands become like an octopus & my feet
& toes
are curled up like a tree branch in the wind i can’t see past my own door
& the music in my ears is like a magic carpet i’m flying through a scene
of scarlet
Red.
flowing through a river i see my thoughts escape to the
wilderness i cannot be alone
i cannot be alone
the difference between you & me, is i get
FUCKED UP
when i’m alone
i don’t like feeling straight.
1200mg ibuprofen
1500mg paracetamol
270mg pseudoephedrine
100mg citalopram
80mg temazepam
i want to go to the snow fields & run through a forest
of christmas trees
& feel the glow sparkle ~~
i like the colour red
i like the colour yellow
i love orange
i like the number 5
i love the number 3
my head is sparkling
the ufo is gone & i am still here in my oasis of gold
& ash
my heart is beating to the rhythm of the music’s beat
my ears are in love with chords. lifts. progression
i want to be a treble clef on the music staf & travel my way around the world in a
musician’s suit case
i love the sound of a guitar being tuned
i want to know your name your eye colour your hair colour & how you fell in love
i want to know what you used for shelter & how you carried on
i want to know how you dealt with giving away 2 pieces of you
i think about you every day i hope you are strong & caring
i love you. but sometimes i hate you.
because i feel like you gave up on me.
i wish i remembered your face
sometimes you make me not care but then i remember i wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.
the music is in tune with my heart beat.
i need a black coffee & a piece of tangerine sky to fly through the
branches of daylight & shadows
green orange red blue your face is dented & i can’t see
the moonlight from my balcony because
my eyelids got sewn together last weekend when i said i
hated my life
i don’t want to see the sky anymore.
you’re escaping from the new grown forest in my boat
made of banana leaves i want to cut my hair off &
sell it to charity & move to a monk monastery.
you’re killing yourself
go back to bed
don’t destroy yourself
love yourself.
i am my own worst enemy.
floating through darkness i see your
hate & COLD
why did you move away?
regina spektor plays and i hate it because it reminds me
of you
i want you out out out out out thank you for calling but i want you out.
i do love you & i always will.
let’s catch up in 40 years and talk about our lives.
my skin is melting off my face & you are vanishing…………………………………
vanishing ———
take me to your land
i want to vanish
i miss the old me.
i am floating can’t you feel the blue around the edges creep into my skin
& drown like a rat
rat rat rat rat
rattatattata
it feels so cold but i can’t stop sweating
i’m wearing a jacket & it’s 35 degrees celsius
it feels like snow
snow snow snow snow
snow snow snow snow
snow snow snow snow
rain pain guilt love anger alone passive cigarette urban aircon
the keyboard tingles with delight & it says my name with grace
i don’t believe in god
& i don’t believe we have a choice.
just go along with it.
ride it.
love it.
be it.
i think my heart stopped beating.
the train is late.
