What a hard weekend. And not hard in the good way. Just tiring. And long. And dramatic. The roles were reversed and things were odd.
Josh and I had a rather uneventful Friday night. I think we went to his Mum’s place and then came back to my our place and had a few drinks and fell asleep in front of the TV. I don’t even know. Saturday morning, we wake up really early and watched more TV and drank a bit more beer and vodka. Nice combination. We started getting bored around 11am and went to the Asian Imporium to wander around. We found this aisle full of everything made out of paper. Paper shirts, paper shoes, paper refrigerator, paper pedestal fan, paper radio, paper castle, paper hair dryer, paper tinned food. Everything. It freaked us out big time. We both stood there going “what…the…hell…do…they…use…these…for…?” and WHY is there an entire aisle dedicated to paper goods?
From there, we went to the shopping centre. It was so packed out. I was feeling slightly paranoid considering we had a bit to drink before coming out, and now we were in this full shopping centre. I kept thinking everyone was looking at me, and so did Josh. We got what we had to get (zinc cream, red speedos & little red shorts. I will explain…), and got the hell outta there. We stopped off at his Mum’s house again and had a few more beers before going home. It was so HOT we both fell asleep watching Titanic, before I had to go and pick up my friend Bianca from work and get ready for a big night.
Saturday was Josh’s work Christmas party and it was dress up. He went as a Surf Lifesaver, and he really looked the part. It was so good! He hired a Surf Lifesaver singlet and cap from a costume shop and we bought the rest earlier in the day (zinc, red speedos – get it now?). Bianca and I dropped Josh off at his Christmas party and we continued on with our night. We had some tickets to a “ladies night” at one of the nightclubs in town. We were hesitant to go, but went anyway. We got there, and there were too many half naked men walking around with oil and glitter all over their bodies. We were way too sober and smart for this. We left, and continued on with our night.
Bianca and I went to another pub and had a drink and waited for the band to start. Josh called me and said he was really bored and they still had $200 on the bar tab and that there were only 3 people left at the party and that Bianca and I should come along. So we do. And there were like 3 people there. And it was terrible. Bianca and I didn’t know anybody, and Josh was too busy talking to his work people. Not fun. I do remember having to walk someone outside because he had to vomit, and then he got in trouble by the bar girls for vomiting. She wondered why he couldn’t vomit in the pot plant, and why it had to be on the footpath. I don’t know.
I was really, really drunk. While we were there I had like 3 jagerbombs, cocktails, vodka red bull – everything. Josh, Bianca and I ended up leaving to go back to where Bianca and I started – to watch the band. On the way, we heard Beatles music coming from this tiny tiny room next to the road – inside there were people dancing. So we all go in and dance around like idiots to the Beatles. After feeling like we had successfully gate crashed someone’s party, we left.
The night turned shit around this point.
I saw some of my old family friends, they used to baby sit me when I was little, and up until about 6 months ago they used to be Josh’s boss at work. They were not in a good mood, and I ended up getting a lecture about how Josh isn’t stable and that I shouldn’t be hanging around with him, etc etc. Then she asked me if he and I were together, and I said we were just friends. Then, because I knew my family is going to their family’s house for Christmas, I changed the subject to Christmas – I said that I was so excited about this Christmas and asked what the plans are – her reply was, “Don’t you dare bring Josh around on Christmas – he won’t be allowed inside my parents house!”. This is when I started getting really angry and I yelled at her a few times and told her where to go.
I ended up losing Josh and Bianca – my phone had died and I was far too drunk to try and remember anyone’s phone numbers. I just went and started dancing. This is when I saw some old friends from a past life – from when I was with my ex boyfriend, Ross. In one of the entries below, I mention Sarah. Well, I haven’t seen her in maybe 6 months to a year. I saw her this night, and she was really weird. She pulled me aside and said, “I am going to call Ross tonight and tell him to come back home. He needs to come back here and look after you, you are far too skinny – you’ve lost too much weight. You look sick. I’ll make him come back, this is not good”. I was so confused. Then, her friend that’s been trying to hook up with me for years came up to us and asked me for a kiss. Everything is so fuzzy.
Just as I was about to completely lose my cool and start crying because I thought it was the end of the world, I see a glimmer of hope. I see Josh. I run up to him because I’m SO glad I found him. He’s not as happy as I am. In fact, he’s rather pissed off. And boy, do I get an ear full from him. Not fun.
All in all, we finally ended up getting home safely and falling asleep. It was a mission, it involved me losing my house keys and deciding to sleep in a gutter. After I see the family friends again and yell at them out the front of the nightclub – “I can’t FUCKING wait for Christmas!!! You just wait!!! I’m going to tell everyone that you were going to let me sleep in a GUTTER!!! What family you guys are!! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!”.
Christmas is going to be fun this year. . . . . . . . . . . .
The next day, Josh had to work…at 9.30am. I don’t even know what time we got to sleep eventually – it would have been around 5.30 or 6am. Josh said, before we went to sleep, that he was setting his alarm for 8.30am. So, I set mine for 8.30am as well – so we have 2 alarms to wake up to. He was borrowing my car for the day and his Mum was going to pick me up at around 11am to take me over to an island for lunch and a swim. So, 8.30am comes along and I wake up…to an empty bed. Okay. I get up, look around the house – it’s completely empty. He’s left. You see, this wouldn’t be an issue if I hadn’t left my hand bag with my wallet, spare house keys – EVERYTHING – in my car. It was 8.30am so I try calling him – no answer, I send him a text- no answer, call again – no answer. Then I pass out.
11am comes, and I go to leave because his Mum is downstairs. But. I am locked in the house. My flat mate went out and locked the dead lock. I’m on the 5th floor, so I can’t just jump out a window. I did attempt to climb over my balcony, onto the air conditioner dock for the unit downstairs and then onto the stair railing. That didn’t work.
I tried to call my flat mate about 5 times, no answer. So I call Josh. And I’m crying. What a terrible weekend this is. All I’ve done is cry and cry. Josh comes and lets me out and I finally get to the island with his Mum around 1pm.
The island was the worst thing in the world. I ended up leaving his Mum behind and finding a shady tree in a secluded area. I curl up under it and phone Josh, I tell him that I’ve passed out under a shady tree and I’m just going to sleep there for the rest of the day. He told me to get on the next ferry and come home. I started crying (again) because his Mum didn’t want to leave. She ended up making us miss the 5.30pm Ferry and we had to wait around for the 6.30pm Ferry. This morning I looked in my sent items on my phone. Oh, I was not in a good place on Sunday…
To: Josh
23 Nov 2008 05:15PM
I’m so scared this old man keeps trying to chat me up he said i look like james bond’s mistress or some shit i hate it here and we gonna miss the ferry fuck this shit
To: Josh
23 Nov 2008 05:38PM
Fuck everything i’m sick of this shit. what the fuck has happened to my life. i’m trapped on a fucking island. i hate this shit hole place i hate it i hate it
To: Josh
23 Nov 2008 5:42PM
I am trapped. freaking out massive panic attack coming on soon i think i can feel it. i am trapped.
To: Josh
23 Nov 2008 5:46PM
Your mum is picking up a booty call this is too too too weird i’m so scared here
To: Josh
23 Nov 2008 5:53PM
We getting on 630 ferry. i hope you pick us up but if you don’t i will sleep in a tree like a koala because i am fucked and koalas are pretty exciting. i smoked too much of someone’s weed and i am about to pass out. i hate this place help me
To: Josh
23 Nov 2008 6:10PM
I feel like i’m about to start a big fight and cry
Josh did come and pick us up. I fell asleep in the car and woke up out the front of Yummy Noodle. I got out of the car too quickly and suddenly vomited in the car park. I opted out of getting greasy Chinese food for dinner…
Josh and I finally get home and I pass out on the bed in front of the TV, watching the final Australian Idol episode. After a random tickle fight with Josh we finally went to sleep.
Today, I am sunburnt, sick, tired, bruised and confused.
