Every Time You Water The Garden, You Also Water The Weeds.

I think Josh has moved in.

You know what I hate?  I never, ever, ever wake up in the middle of the night.  I always sleep the whole way through the night.  Josh wakes up in the middle of the night and then goes back to sleep.  Are you wondering why this is an issue?  Because, have you ever thought about the things you might do when you’re asleep?  I don’t need to wonder what I do, I have someone who tells me every single morning what it is I do while unconcious.  Below is a small list, compiled by me with help from Josh’s comments every morning:

1. I kick.  A lot. 
2. I have a habit of groping buttock cheeks.  Not my own.
3. My legs don’t enjoy sleeping on the right side of the bed with the rest of my body.  They enjoy the left side of the bed, where Josh sleeps.
4. I will lie there, dead silent and still, and then I will suddenly jolt & start snoring.  “Kick starting the snoring” as Josh likes to put it.  The snoring will last for maybe 10 seconds and I will go back to normal.
5. I take my shirt off during the night.  It must get too hot.  And then I put it back on again…when it must get cold.

I have no memory of doing any of the above.  But apparently I do it … every night.

Josh and I have slept in the same bed for a week straight now.  That’s more than we ever have.  Weird.

This morning I went to a cafe and had breakfast and used their wireless internet on my laptop.  The cafe was so busy.  It’s probably my favourite cafe ever.  I really felt like something with sundried tomato.  I’m contemplating going back to my vegetarian roots, but if Josh really is moving in, he won’t like eating vegetarian food.  I used to be a vegetarian for 7 years.  I started in 2000 when I was in grade 10 in school because I was protesting against dissecting animals for science class.  I stopped on January 26th 2007.  The story is interesting. 

It was Australia Day and I was with my then boyfriend, let’s call him Ross.  So Ross and I were going into the City with another friend of ours, let’s call her Sarah, to celebrate Australia Day.  Ross decided to dress in only an Australia Day bikini, board shorts & he used the Australian Flag as a cape.  We also put heaps and heaps and heaps of Australian flag tattoos all over his chest in a checker-board fashion.  Sarah and I were pretty tame, wearing white tank tops with some Australian slogan on it like “Aussie Aussie Aussie” “Oi Oi Oi”.  Anyhoo, the 3 of us drive into the City at about 9.30am and stop off at Woolworths to get some supplies for the Barbeque.  Being a vegetarian, I always had a hard time at BBQs.  What do I get to eat?  I usually had to bring my own things – like I’d do roasted stuffed capsicums, or mushrooms.  Sometimes people would be “thoughtful” and bring me those vegetarian sausages that taste like ass.  This time I thought I’d just get some bread and I’ll have a sandwich because I’d be drinking anyway, and I wasn’t feeling that hungry.

WRONG.

As soon as we finished at Woolworths we got to the hotel our friend Adam was staying at.  Sarah and I began the drinking early while Ross and Adam prepared the BBQ shenannigans.  It was maybe 11.30am and I was feeling really, really, really drunk.  I’d gone swimming, I was sunburnt already, I’d made a few embarrasing drunk phone calls to friends interstate to wish them a happy Australia Day.  I was in a happy state.  Then I started to get hungry.  I was in that mood where I couldn’t be bothered preparing my own food.  I was getting pissed off at being the only one at BBQs and parties that had to BYO food.  I decided it was time for a change.

I drunkenly went up to Ross and asked him to make me a steak sandwich.  That’s right.  After 7 years of eating nothing but vegetables, TVP, lentils & beans, I decided it was time for a giant STEAK.  All I really remember is sitting there in silence chewing the steak sandwich while Ross watched me closely.  I was really drunk, and I wasn’t enjoying the steak at all.  I got up and ran to the hotel room and vomited everything up.  Soon after, I passed out on the hotel couch only to wake up a few hours later with my arm decorated entirely in permanent black marker as SPIDERMAN.  If I didn’t feel so sick, I might have laughed.

Since then I’ve been eating meat.  And I must say, I miss my vegetarian ways.

I rediscovered a band I forgot about.  They’re a lovely Australian band called The Waifs.  Tonight I’m going to chill out and listen to their entire album, and if Josh doesn’t like it, he can go home.